THE CHURCH AND DRIVER'S EDUCATION

If driver's education was like the church as we know it today.......

At 16, each person would have the opportunity to decide whether they
would choose to devote time to learning how to operate a vehicle. If
they chose to take that first step, we would enroll them in driver's
ed classes, every Sunday and Wednesday, FOR THE REST OF THEIR NATURAL
LIVES.

Every class would start with exactly 20 minutes of songs about how cool cars
are and why we like them so much, followed by a soloist singing about cars. It would be assumed that this person was rather intimately acquainted with the workings of cars & driving, even though singing in front of other people about cars isn't really any indication of anything other than a love of performing.

Next on the class agenda would be an offering of sorts.....primarily to pay for the professional driving instructor, to construct a more modern and cushy lecture hall for the driving school and flashy programs to keep future drivers more interested in the school-like babysitting program that existed during all the lectures. Since the parents never really drove at home or had time to talk about driving with their kids, they would let the driving school assume that role with their children.

Next would be the lecture. Even though the only way to really learn to drive is to get in a car and drive while a veteran driver instructs you, driver's education would be taught by lecture only. Students would be expected to attend lectures at least twice weekly, other meetings and seminars about cars, recruitment meetings to try to win others to the joy of cars, ---almost anything that would keep the students so busy that they would have no opportunity to actually drive or enjoy driving with others outside of the driving school.

Every Sunday and Wednesday, the teacher, or someone on his staff, would drive the students all home, for fear they wouldn't be able to do it themselves. Even after years of lessons, most people would still drag themselves to the lectures and allow the teacher to take the wheel on the way home every week. Driver's education would take the place of actually driving. Driving was for the professional teachers.

None of the students would actually drive a car during class--which would consist mostly of lectures, or ask any real questions about driving a car. That would be rude and who knows what a free-for-all they'd have if students started voicing their questions and fears---and actually discussing the finer points of driving! They could even start interpreting the manual for themselves and next thing you know they're careening their way down Main Street.

None of the instructors would have much driving experience other than driving back and forth to class from homes that were usually on the same property as the driving school. Their jobs would be incredibly secure unless they stole or totalled a car, started advocating train travel, or something equally serious.


That's all for today....

'Nerak'